Every villain is a hero of his own story

How easy it is to see others as enemies. Acting against us. Against our ideas. Against helping us to become heroes of our story. Yet, if you consider their actions from their perspective, it is rather clear to see that it is simply their story they are trying to push forward. Their ideas. Their story.

‘Every villain is a hero of his or her own story’ wrote Christopher Vogler in “The Writer’s Journey”. Whenever analyzing a conflict close home or far away, it is inevitable to see that no actor in that conflict acts irrationally. Yes, the joint rationale seems incongruous but the individual perspectives make perfect sense.

Let’s take a conflict at work. You have an idea and want to push it forward and your colleague disagrees. Is he irrational? It may seem so. But, far more likely, he sees some sort of personal danger in what you are proposing. It may be you making yourself more visible than him. Or maybe he has an alternative idea and he wants it to become the preferred choice. Or tries to maintain his position as a threshold guardian of some sacred interest you may not even be aware of.

General Stanley McChrystal makes a point that in war conflicts a party rarely acts in an irrational manner. They just act according to their own interest — be it: victory, survival, protection or revenge. Understanding that interest helps to define a strategy that builds some common ground that in a consequence can lead to conflict resolution. The thing is that finding that common ground requires us to detach ourselves from our perspective. Our need to be a hero. Requires to let go of our best interest and look for the joint best interest. Of making someone who seems an enemy become a hero as well.